“You are so strong;” I think many of us have been told this when we are going through difficult times. I know that Peter and I have been told this often. To be completely honest though, we aren’t strong. We have cried, curled up in a ball and wished for tomorrow not to come, bargained with the Lord for Him to take us, prayed to have us suffer instead of Archer, wished for the Second Coming to happen tomorrow, laid in bed or on the couch staring at the wall, pushed people away and many other things.
Our strength doesn’t have anything to do with Peter or myself. We are weak, human, broken and in need of repair; heart, body and soul. Our brokenness had made us learn to rely on the Lord for strength. Not only does Christ understand what we are going through now, he understood what we were going through at Stanford, what Archer was experiencing at Stanford. He gave us strength to endure then and is giving us strength to endure now. I don’t feel like we will be completely healed until the next life, when we are resurrected again, and our faith is made sure by witnessing the miracle that Christ gave us when He broke the bands of death for each and every one of us.
In 1 Corinthians 9:22 Paul explains one of the reasons we need to be weakened: “To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.” From this scripture I draw a few things. First, that Christ became weak, understanding each of our weaknesses through His atonement. He also took upon Himself our flaws, our frailties, and our infirmities so that He could understand us. It was one way that He showed us love, by knowing what we experience so that He can succor us. He was alone while this was happening with no one to succor Him, so great was and is His love for us. By understanding our weaknesses, He makes it possible for Him to save us. He knows what will bring us back to Him, what we need to be saved by Him.
It is why in Corinthians 12:9 Paul writes: “…My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness…for when I am weak, then am I strong.” Paul knew that his “thorn in the flesh” helped him to understand Christ’s atonement, rely on the strength that Christ offered him and helped him to glory in Christ. I can’t say that I am to that point. I am not dancing in the street after this loss, but I am brought to my knees constantly to find the strength to go on. I will not glory in my strength, because I have none; I would still be lying in bed if it were just up to me. Instead, I am grateful, humbled and dumbfounded by the love that my Savior offers me, offers every one of us. He loves us with a love that I can only understand because of having Archer, and even then that understanding falls short.
President Oaks said, “And so we see that because of His Atonement, the Savior has the power to succor—to help—every mortal pain and affliction. Sometimes His power heals an infirmity, but the scriptures and our experiences teach that sometimes He succors or helps by giving us the strength or patience to endure our infirmities.” I am not strong, but I am continually given strength to endure this infirmity and one day my broken heart will be healed. On those days when getting out of bed is the worst, those are the days when I find myself begging the most to rely on His strength just to get through the day.
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