We were studying Come Follow Me, and the “valley of the shadow of death” was mentioned. It made me curious about the phrase, and if it literally meant the valley of the shadow of death. Upon Googling the phrase, I found a Christian blog called www.christianity.com, it stated that: “The Hebrew word translated as ‘shadow of death’ is one word, salmawet. It is a word that most often appears poetically. And the best translation is probably to call it ‘the valley of the deepest darkness’.” Upon further review I found other places that mentioned the word salmawet, and its meaning: valley of the deepest darkness. It led me to ponder what our valley of the deepest darkness could be, what my valley of the deepest darkness is, how it relates in comparison to the valley of the shadow of death, and what we are doing to escape the darkness or if we are allowing ourselves to be overcome by our deepest darkness.
The valley of the deepest darkness, we each have moments that lead us down a path to the valley of the shadow of death, our valley of the deepest darkness. It isn’t a place we enter willingly, but one that is thrust upon us in one way or another. Divorce, death of a loved one, crippling anxiety or depression, cancer/health issues, losing our independence, disability, the list goes on and on with the various things we each experience in one way or another that can lead us to a place of obscurity, away from the light. These situations tend to push us into a ravine, feeling isolated as we try to deal with what we are experiencing, grasping for what our reality now will be. It is when we are swallowed up by this abyss that we have to decide what we will do. Do we sit and go nowhere, do we try to find a way out, do we ask for help, or do we allow ourselves to be trapped there forever.
When I ponder what one would do to go nowhere in a valley of deepest darkness, I think of questions that are so easily asked, and rarely answered. Why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong? Does God not love me? Is there a God? These questions arise when the weight of this life causes us to wonder and reevaluate everything we believe. I’ve never thought questions were a bad thing, it’s the way you truly arrive at what you believe and know to be true. It’s difficult though to separate our grief, despair, and feelings of being lost, from our questions. The questions arise from a place of pain, trying to make sense of our present circumstances, wondering what the future holds. In our valley our questions and emotions can engulf us, and we can become lost in the darkness of our sorrow, the shadow becomes oppressive, and we forget to look towards our source of light. The one source that can offer us the peace we so greatly desire is the place we look last. Finding peace in this state of mind is difficult because the adversary is the master of lies and deceit. If he can convince you that you aren’t loved, that you can’t find peace, and that your questions are bigger than the love Heavenly Father has for you, then he, Satan, has won. He has swallowed you up in the darkness of doubt. He has made your stay in the valley of your deepest darkness more difficult than it already was. He shrouds the truth with the doubts that enter your soul and extinguishes the light that could help lead you out.
Another way to deal with being in the valley of our deepest darkness is to find a way out. I am a pacer, sometimes I mentally pace, going in circles in my head. I ruminate over ideas, ideas that would get me out of my ravine. I have tried to escape this canyon myself, without help, with my own ideas, because I am a bit independent. Learning to share the burden with others has been a huge learning curve for me. If I have such difficulty sharing the burden with people here on earth, my talent in sharing it with Heavenly Father and Jesus is just slightly ahead of that. Having Peter in my life has helped me to learn to depend upon someone else, he has helped me become humbler in relying on Heavenly Father. I am still working on relying on Them and not pacing within the dark prison of my soul. Without the light that They offer many bumps, bruises and injuries would, and have happened, within my valley, my endless ravine. The ravine that I have recently been in grew as I ignored the light and hope, guilt overcame me, and again the adversary was able to win. As I have found the people I trust to talk to, found the peace that the temple brings, fought to share the burden with the Lord (this is still an ongoing struggle) and worked at doing things that would have the spirit with me, I have found more peace. It takes a conscious effort to turn to Heavenly Father, knowing you can’t do it on your own. Finding a way out of your valley of the shadow of death will only happen as we rely on our Savior and Heavenly Father, Their light can help provide relief in the darkness we are in.
It seems that when I share my load with those I trust the most, I can find temporary relief and find a bit of light. When I allow others to help, that peace can be found. How I do that though isn’t dictated by anyone else. I have had people try to “push” me into allowing them to help, or think they are helping by trying to push their agenda onto mine. I can tell you that won’t put you into my sphere of trust, instead it has put those people on my short list of “beings I don’t have much patience for.” It has given me much need for repentance and not helped me find the light, but instead caused me to kick against the darkness of the ravine. Sharing my load with Heavenly Father, Jesus, close family, and friends has offered my soul the opportunity to breathe, relax and see there is light within my valley of the deepest darkness. I haven’t exited this valley yet, I might not in this life, but I am finding light, and where I can turn for the peace to find the illumination I desire. I guess what is left is to ask yourself is, what are you doing to find the light in your valley of the deepest darkness? Are you stuck? Are you trying to figure it out on your own? Where will you start to try and find the light that you crave and need? How you are going to do that is entirely up to you, but I can testify that there is One who so greatly desires to help you find peace. That through the love of our Savior and Redeemer we can find peace; as we turn to Him, seek Him and our Heavenly Father we can find light and relief.
Comments