When you are stressed, for whatever reason you will probably find that there is a greater need for rest. I have found that with my grief more energy is spent on day-to-day tasks. I don’t have as much energy as I did. I don’t have the drive I did. I can’t multitask very well, if at all. I become overwhelmed and frustrated much more quickly than before. My attention span is shorter. With all of these things combined, and many that I haven’t mentioned, I need more down time and more time to rest.
What I have noticed in Peter and myself is that if we don’t take the time for rest, we usually have one or two “shut down” days during the week, where we are so tired our bodies don’t function. Yes, we are pushing ourselves more than we did, especially trying to get in shape for the bike relay we have in September, but that just means we need to focus more on the amount of rest we get.
Peter has been very diligent in trying to create a routine for himself. He has a daily alarm that goes off at the same time every day, so he wakes up at a “decent” time. The problem I am seeing with this is what about the nights we don’t go to bed at a “decent” time, which honestly is almost every night. The lack of sleep builds up, and when you are already functioning on a deficit it doesn’t take much to push you over the edge.
Mourning someone, missing them greatly creates a lot of physical, emotional, and psychological stress. Being a care giver, going through physical trauma and illness, etc., are reasons to try and get more rest, to allow yourself the chance to reboot. That rest could be a nap, or just the chance to meditate, or lie down. Elder Holland said, “In preventing illness whenever possible, watch for the stress indicators in yourself and in others you may be able to help. As with your automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank low on fuel. When you face ‘depletion depression,’ make the requisite adjustments. Fatigue is the common enemy of us all—so slow down, rest up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take time to be well, we most assuredly will take time later on to be ill.”
I recently listened to a question-and-answer devotional where Elder Bednar was in the hotseat. Someone had asked about how to achieve balance. Elder Bednar laughed, and basically said we need to get rid of this idea, balance doesn’t exist. We only have the ability to try and keep 3-4 plates spinning, focus on the things that matter most. An article in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Gospel Library sums up Elder Bednar’s answers to finding ways to find balance, “In his analogy, each plate represents something we feel we need to do. We get into trouble when, as Elder Bednar explained, we “try to spin too many plates. … You can’t get to them all, and one or many of them will fall off and break. But what if everything feels important? How do you choose what to do first? Elder Bednar explained, “Some things are nice; a few things are essential. Make sure that you focus on the things that are essential.”
So, with myself, having limited energy that seems to be easily depleted, I need to decide what things matter most to me, what are essential, and quit trying to spin too many plates. When I do feel tired, overwhelmed and needing a break, it is ok to allow one for myself. The goal is to have fewer shut down days while allowing myself the rest I need.
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