It has been six months since Archer passed away. It seems like it has been so long ago. The pain and anguish have lessened, but the hurt is still there. Periodically, there are times when I am thinking about the many times his little fingers gripped around mine or when I held him, I will become sad at how much I miss him. Even though these memories continue my grief, they help with the grieving process, not because they do not hurt, it is because I am able to confront the sadness and the reality of the situation. I am able to talk about the good times, the frustrations, the sadness, and even the hope for one day being with him again. The grieving process is still continuing, even though at times, I have angry spells, or days of depression, I am slowly accepting the loss. However, that does not mean I don’t wish he was still here, I do wish he was here daily. Like many things in this life, grief is a process and not a set of checklist items to be completed. Since grief is a process, so is finding the peace that I hope for.
Over the last few weeks, I have been trying to find a way to discuss how Jesus Christ is our source of peace. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Romans 5:1-5) This is a wonderful passage, but it is only part of the solution to finding peace within this world of trials and tribulations. When a person is going through grief, they are experiencing bouts of anger, depression, bargaining, and all other manners of emotions that grief causes a person and being consoled instantaneously is not possible. There is a process that we as people have to do if we want that added portion of Godly peace, we need to find peace within our mortal selves as well.
In the manual, Finding Strength in the Lord: Emotional Resilience, “sadness and depression can impact our ability to feel or understand the promptings of the Spirit” (Understanding Sadness and Depression). This is also true with anger. When we are emotionally charged, it is difficult to find that calming reassurance from the Spirit. So, what do we need to do? We need to work on our Physical, Mental, Social, Emotional and other dimensions of wellness. We need to work the process of healing to find the peace in which we are looking. We do need Jesus’ help, but we also have to put in the work, like discussing how the loss does hurt, accepting that it isn’t a quick fix. As we go into that downward spiral while laying on the couch in a mental fog, eating unhealthy foods and avoiding our feelings, praying to Heavenly father to fix it is only going to happen when we are ready to begin working on healing by confronting our emotions and being an active participant in the process of grief.
Our journey has only begun with processing the loss of Archer, but we also know that we need to work the process of grief to be able to find the peace we so desperately need. And since we have been doing this, many of our days have gotten better, it might only be two or three days in the week, but it is much better than going a couple of weeks without feeling good. We know we will still have hard days ahead of us, but we also know that when we work through our grief and ask for help from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, we are able to endure just a little better each day.
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