You could hear the waves slapping the boulders as we rounded the corner of the rock wall placed to divide the Anahulu River from the ocean in Haleiwa. My joy of being outdoors, desire to spot sea turtles and excitement from being on a paddle board again, combined to create a heady degree of anticipation. The waves from the ocean calmed into a slowly flowing river, peaceful, and lackadaisical. With the fauna fanning out on both sides of the river it created a divider between us and the busy road, it aided in muffling the sounds of the cars driving by. As I began paddling all I could hear was the paddle entering the water, it felt like a disturbance in the force surrounding the river. The water was clear enough that you could see the fish swimming in it, their colors, shapes, and sizes dancing within the boundary the banks had created. Occasionally we could spot a round gliding silhouette in the water, realizing we were close to a sea turtle. There was one time a sea turtle stayed alongside my paddle board for what seemed like 3-5 minutes as I struggled to take a picture. It felt like Archer sending a friend to say ‘hello.’ Drinking in my surroundings I felt a sense of tranquility and contentment I haven’t felt in a long time. I left that day renewed, content and filled.
Not every river is like this. Right before coming to Hawaii, Peter and I biked along the Spanish Fork Parkway, shocked at how high and swift the snow melt had made the Spanish Fork River. The river waters were a milky chocolate color, swift and treacherous. It had swelled past the normal level of water, rising quickly with the new moisture accumulation. It was carrying everything it touched with it down its path, careless and powerful, widening its banks as it went.
It has made me think about how important self-care is. I have watched both myself and Peter become the softly flowing Anahulu River when we’ve taken the time to care for ourselves; and also felt like the Spanish Fork River when the cares of the world have been magnified by the grief we’ve felt, torrential, powerful, and treacherous.
When I lived in Logan, UT, while I was attending Utah State, I had a few places I loved to go for self-care, self-reflection, and peace. The Wind Caves up Logan Canyon was one place I would go whenever things started to build up and I needed time away from what was happening in my life, a separation from the stress. I would come back centered, in a better place emotionally after physically exerting myself on a short hike, which would help with the pent-up emotions of the moment. There was a sense of serenity there that I longed for and needed in order to work through what was happening in life, to feel closer to Heavenly Father and to release the buildup of stress.
I have found that peace in the temple as well, though not every time I have gone. For me, there is something about being in nature, away from other people, that creates the environment I need to relax and breathe. Peter is different, he needs something else to focus on. He uses video games and creative writing to slow the waters that are creating turmoil in his life.
However you find your peace, you need it consistently. Self-care is a necessity. In order to give to others, you need time to refill yourself. Christ was the master of self-care, giving himself time to commune with God. Matthew 14:22-23 “¶ And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. 23 And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.” (also Mark 6:45-46)
We all have pressures in this life, they can build up and it takes just the right pressure at the wrong time for us to become like the overflowing waters of the Spanish Fork River, out of control and taking everything down with us. We each need time and a place to find the serenity of renewal and communion with our Father in Heaven; it is a necessity when dealing with grief, when dealing with life. I challenge you to find your place and give yourself that time you need. I challenge myself to find somewhere close to Springville where I can feel that too, peace like a river.
Comments