Where is My Hope?
Many of these topics that I have covered in this blog were things that I needed to tell myself, hoping it would be of some help to others. Over the course of my life, I have had many experiences that have caused me to doubt myself and wonder about my personal worth. Even now, with continued disappointments, I wonder what there is to hope for in this life. I ponder, Is what I am going to do even matter? Am I really going to get this Job that I have applied for? Why keep trying if it is only going to lead to more disappointments? I know ruminating on these thoughts can be destructive, yet confirmation of these thoughts is even more devastating, time and time again. If I ask someone how to overcome this, that person might say, “you’ve got to have faith,” “be grateful for what you have,” “pray for help,” “get a blessing,” “turn to the Lord,” etc. All of these typical words of advice are useful, but will they change my outlook on life, or my ability to have hope.
When Heidi and I returned home from California to bury Archer, we were at a low point in our life. To say we were devastated is an understatement. We needed spiritual boosts to keep us going. So, the third season of The Chosen was being released in the theaters and we decided to go and watch it. The season started out great, it was helpful, until the moment we are informed that Eden had lost her child. It was even more unsettling when Peter finally found out about it. I could feel every emotion that he was feeling, even though this version of the actual Peter was fictional, the loss was real to me. Peter still had faith in Christ, but had the same questions of his value, and wondered why Jesus would not heal Eden and his unborn child; especially, a chosen disciple, one to follow the savior.
Like Peter from The Chosen, I wonder why the Lord would help others and not me. I hear of those miracles from conferences and wonder, enviously, why them and not me? I believe he could have done that for me, so why not? Even now I wonder, haven’t I experienced enough disappointments, shouldn’t I get a win for once, or how much longer is this going to last?
Therefore, I realized that I need to work on being able to hope. And, this is what this blog is really about, being able to hope during the hardships of life. To begin to understand hope, it is necessary to evaluate where you are at with your hope currently. Ask yourself, “If I was like Job and lost all my possessions, family, and friends would I still have hope?”
Lastly, consider Jesus’ affirmation and how it is instrumental in having hope? I certainly am, since it has been quoted in multiple conference talks dealing with disappointments.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:27)
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