Peter and I recently noticed a lighter and happier spirit in our home. December brings sadness and longing that is magnified immensely by the holidays. Watching nieces’ and nephews’ excitement in opening presents, the focus on family and what is called the “Christmas Spirit,” seems to affect us opposite of the majority. Missing someone during the holidays is crushing, having a home void of your little ones does that too.
Our December was one of survival and depressing exhaustion. It is brought on by the anniversary of Archer’s death on the 9th and his funeral that happened on the 21st. In the middle of having to deal with that we have family gatherings. With those gatherings comes an emotional drain, like being sucked dry of the limited strength you have. People put unnecessary things on your plate that further exhaust you, thinking that because you are with family it will help. It doesn’t. Instead, I became grumpier and grumpier, trying to maintain some semblance of keeping it together. I said some bitter things, just pushing people back, trying to get them to understand that I was barely keeping it together. It didn’t work, and by the end of the month I was miserable, dealing with the need to repent from what I’d said, not wanting to go to anymore family Christmas parties ever again to protect my heart from constantly breaking.
What is interesting is that on January 1st we started studying the Book of Mormon for the church Sunday School Curriculum focus. Peter and I had bought copies of the Journal edition of the Book of Mormon, so that we could highlight the passages relating to Christ, neither of us have done that before. It has an area on the side where you can take notes, so we can then explain why we highlighted what we did. We’d been reading the Book of Mormon previously, but it was reading, not studying. We’ve noticed an increase of the spirit in our home and with us. It has been a drastic and needed change. It didn’t solve all of our problems, or that I’m already dreading next December, but it has helped us to feel lighter. It has helped us feel more positive about things. It is helping us become closer to our Heavenly Father.
So, for this year, I challenge you to find something that can help you feel a little lighter, a little more positive. Find some way for you to focus more on Christ. Your cares won’t go away, but you’ll know Heavenly Father does love you and that Christ’s power is there to help you. You’ll find that your burden is made a little lighter with the spirit you feel.
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