There is a common phrase that I have heard myself repeatedly say, “I don’t want to ever go back to the way things were.” This comes from many different types of loss and failures. I have been dealing with these thoughts lately. In a way it has held me back somewhat. I want to move forward, yet I do not want to repeat the hardships of the past. What has begun to happen is that I begin to fear progress at the cost of possibly returning to comparable hardships. I begin to lack confidence in myself and my ability to move forward. I have had to really think hard about what is happening and why I am putting myself in this eternal misery cycle.
Fear is a complex emotion that is part of our survival instincts. We need it to be wary of the mortal dangers that surround us. However, when fear becomes so overwhelming and inhibits us, it becomes destructive. We begin to doubt ourselves and our abilities; we begin to lose confidence. The simplest things become the hardest obstacles in the world. In a way, our fear of loss and failures has become the reason why we continue to have more failures and losses. We begin to focus more on the negatives than on the positives of life. If we want to have things change for the better, then we need to relearn how to have confidence in ourselves.
One major obstacle with having confidence in ourselves is the overemphasis on losing, or in other words failing. I went to see my niece participate in a pageant. There were 10 young women competing and 5 judges scrutinizing everything that they did. There was a small audience that had their cell phones out videoing (which would immediately be uploaded onto social media) the procession of these ladies’ ability to demonstrate grace and choice of gown wear with the aptitude to answer a difficult question and to show case a talent. Even with all that added pressure, there could only be one winner and two runners up; which means there would be 9 that would not win and 7 who would not be recognized. So, with the odds on the side of losing, why compete, or why put yourself out there?
When it comes to life, we all have some type of competition that is playing out: there are scholarships, vying for another’s affection, career opportunities, investments, yard presentation, popularity, elections, and anything that you can list. Within these lists the winners are rewarded with tangible prizes that are easily recognized and can be the envy of everyone else. We begin to place more emphasis on the reward than what it is that we are truly trying to accomplish—experience and learning.
Everything that we try to accomplish, we gain experience and learn. Besides the outcome of the pageant, each person that performed demonstrated that they had the ability to present themselves in front of strangers and show that they are very talented. They also learned what is needed to do better if they wish to continue pageanting. They are also learning to maximize their potential within themselves. When it comes to our individual potential, Heavenly Father knows how to help us succeed, if we are willing to let him guide us.
If you asked Heavenly Father to help you live up to your potential, would you allow him to help you? On the surface the answer is yes, but deep down when life gets hard, many of us, myself included, want to say, “Enough is enough, I want the good life.” We become frustrated that we are not seeing the tangible rewards, that we are always coming up short. We become resentful and begin to fear our own efforts. We are forgetting that Heavenly Father is guiding us towards our best selves if we just let Him. If becoming homeless and the uncertainty of food was the answer to maximizing your potential, would you accept Heavenly Father’s help?
Being uncomfortable causes fear to accept life’s challenges. I hate it when the temperature rises above 70 degrees. However, I need to accept that there are times in life that I need to learn to live life at different temperatures. If I want to continue to progress, then I need to learn to live life in a way that promotes experience and education. Heavenly Father is the one who knows what I need to continually improve to meet my ultimate potential. There are scriptural examples of Heavenly Father guiding people to meet their potential—the exodus of the Israelites, Lehi’s family, the LDS Pioneers, and most important Jesus Christ. It is Jesus’ example we need to take to heart. As Jesus was at Jacob’s Well and teaching the Samaritan woman, his disciples came back and urged him to eat, yet Jesus proclaimed, “My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work” (John 4:34). For Jesus to maximize his potential he needed to be able to Atone for the sins of the world and to be resurrected, he needed to be guided and understand what he needed to do. Even when he had reservations about going through the agony of it all, he prayed, “O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done” (Matthew 26:42). Jesus’s devotion and complete trust in Heavenly Father enabled him to become the Savior of the world.
By examining Jesus’ life, we know that Heavenly Father does not care about riches or worldly titles. He cares so little about these things, that his only Begotten Son lived an impoverished life and many times was physically uncomfortable. What Heavenly Father cared about was his Son achieving his potential. And for that to happen, Jesus had to learn and gain experience, which was not easy at all. One thing that is shown by Jesus is that he had total trust in Heavenly Father regardless of his wealth and popularity, and by doing that He never feared and He had complete confidence in himself. Trusting Heavenly Father and accepting his guidance will help us gain the confidence to grow. Our fear of loss and failure will subside to the desire to learn and gain experience that will help us achieve our maximum potential.
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